Monday, August 27, 2012

Strange Soy

Hi Lil' Strangers. Sorry I haven't been in touch lately. It's not that I haven't been doing strange things, but I've been busy. I still love all 20 of you. Oh, I checked out the Echo Park Rising Festival Saturday (, which was kind of a sweaty mess of 18 year-old hipsters trying to get a hold of PBRs and moshing in the street, but hey, I appreciate the effort. Also, my lovely friend Grey played with this band Jules Verne ( and they were very solid, especially considering they played in a packed tiny record store with no AC and human bodies flying in their faces...but honestly, it was kind of badass. Also badass: the fact that I was wearing sunglasses. I'll tell you why:

SCARY! No, my gentleman caller did not punch me in the face. Yes, my eye eventually swelled all the way shut and I refuse to send you the picture I took of myself where I look like the dude's mask in V For Vendetta. My sexual face is the result of a soy allergy that occurs so sporadically, I choose to deny it and chug a soy-based drink at 9:30AM. NO MORE. Like, this has happened to me three times. Ever. All in my twenties. But obviously I am allergic to SOMETHING in soy, because I had a soy latte first thing Saturday morning (provided by Noey and her fault in NO WAY because I knew about this and she didn't), went to brunch, and immediately went all Hitch on everyone. Like, my friends Christopher and Mary Beth were telling a hilarious story about a topless lady on Sunset Blvd. one minute and the next I was in the bathroom texting Noey to bring me my bag and my SUNGLASSES PLEASE FRIEND RIGHT NOW.

Anyway, a couple of hours eyes were not better. But I didn't want to waste one of the last days of summer and so I put on by cool-lady aviators and went to my friend Cornelia's pool party. Now, sunglasses totally work at daytime pool party. They do not work in a darkened record store at midnight. And by "do not work," I simply mean strangers will question your motives for wearing sunglasses at night. I mean, people bugged Sting so much he wrote a song about it and now I like, TOTALLY FEEL FOR HIM. Multiple people asked why I was wearing shades and we weren't in Beverly Hills; we were in a neighborhood where people think it's okay to wear bathing suit bottoms and a sheer lace bra to brunch (referring to a specific lady my friend Julie and I encountered Sunday). Even my friends were like "Come on girl, it can't be that bad," but then I would show them and they would be all, "Oh, okay, you know what? Sunglasses at night is a fun trend you should start!" Only Noey whispered "I am secretly jealous of you because I want to wear my shades always." She is a nice woman. Anyway, wore those puppies until the wee hours of the morning and I am now proud to report my eyes are mostly back to normal. Bye forever, SOY DEVIL.

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