BOOM!

Oh HEY, what's this?

It's a motherlovin' iPHONE!!!! Get ready for some weird, weird texts, strangers.

Dear iPhone

Dear iPhone-

Where are you? My dad's secretary sent you to me days ago because I am in my late 20's, yet still on my family plan. I have been wanting you for weeks. Do you think we are star-crossed? Do the Gods want to keep me just a few steps away from COOL for the rest of my life? I have wanted to be with you for so long and it feels like fate is keeping us apart.

Did some technology-thief intercept you? Did you return to sender? I promise to be good to you! I will only take hipstamatic photos on you! I will get every app even though it will make me accidentally call my high school crush in the middle of the night! I will never drop you, even when Emily teaches me how to download that "shake puppy" app and I shake the shit out of you whilst chuckling uncontrollably at photos of adorable young dogs!

Can you just get here already? Please?

Love you already,

Stranger in Silverlake

Boyfriends

OMGee, I love when my men collab:

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2012/02/tom-jones-is-jack-whites-newest-best-friend.html

Tom Jones might be the only human who can distract me from the fact that Jack White is making love to his guitar. AND there are HORNS. I mean, for all intents and purposes, this song is totally silly. But strangers, I AM silly. This song reminds me of the fact that I like to put on a party dress and go out and spend too much money on a steak and a dirty vodka martini and then go dancing somewhere weird. Yup, doing that tonight.

Tuesongs

It's hard to be creative about posting music on a Tuesday, OKAY? But, that said, it's easy to find actual tunes to type about. If I was being completely honest with you, my tiny little strangers, I would confess that for the past 2-5 days, I have just been listening to Sharon Van Etten's "Love More" on repeat (hey! I alternate between her version and Justin Vernon's, OKAY?), but in an attempt to appear slightly less pathetic than usual, I will offer up some more varied melodies. Also, I am going to see Sharon in real life at the Avalon in March! The Avalon is cool (http://www.avalonhollywood.com/) and I haven't been since Mason Jennings 2006 (oh God, I am old). She's playing with War on Drugs and I like that dude too. Anyway, here we go:

1) "Burial" by Miike Snow (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N-XckisnpM&ob=av2e) I was at my friend/neighbor/hero Jason's house the other evening, and this song came on. I was only ever familiar with "Animal," which I dug, but this song is much more ME. I don't know why. However, when I said aloud, "I love this song," my friend Jon immediately responds "I KNEW you'd love this song." I don't know if he was insulting me maybe, but at least he GETS me, right?

2) "All I Need" by Radiohead (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY4APDrl66s) So sometimes I ignore the later Radiohead albums. For me, The Bends is IT. Like, that album is so melodic and has such a rich story to every song and I'm sorry, I am a very literal person and Thom Yorke is so cerebral sometimes and I feel shut out of his deep, dark head and it makes me sad. So that album is extremely accessible. But when I really listened to In Rainbows, I realized it is actually a very raw album emotionally and this song, with it's building background, ripped me right open. In a good way.

3) "Creature Fear" by Bon Iver (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdburO6YWe8) Lately, I've been getting all kinds of mushy about my love Justin all over again. I mean I was super all about him over the Summer with that recent album but then you start listening to him all the time and especially if you're in between romantic partners, you just get fucking depressed. But Bon Iver's back on my radar right now and I just rediscovered this JAM with its rocking chorus and it made me happy. Soon to be depressed, but happy, for now. Oh also Justin, don't worry, I know you're dating Kathleen Edwards and I can totally hear your influence all over her album and I will totally back off for now but like, see you in 5 years.

4) "Bye Bye Bye" by Plants and Animals (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4ofb73U9ow) So this band is GOOD, but I always forget them because, I don't know, I'm a bitch. Anyway, I saw them live at the Troubadour back in the day, and I hadn't heard this song yet and I was like THIS COVER IS SO GOOD because it sounds like an old song, right? BUT I AM PRETTY CERTAIN THEY WROTE IT. And that's rad. Correct me if I'm wrong, though. God, it's good. It's like Cat Stevens and Queen made a baby.

Stranger's Still a Giant!

Happy Mondrizzles Lil Strangers!

MY GIANTS WON LAST NIGHT THAT'S RIGHT I AM A COMPLETE FAIR-WEATHER FAN AND DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL BUT BY GOD, IT WAS GREAT! So I guess part of me is still tied to old NYC.

But anyway, I totally went to a hip Superbowl party in deep, deep Silverlake at my friend Audrey's house. Audrey is an extremely sweet lady who teaches Pilates (so she obviously has a hideous figure) and has a giant backyard with a pizza oven (so obviously no one wants to go over there ever). She put her TV outside and we all gathered around to watch Eli Manning make those precious, silly faces he likes to make. And strangers, I COOKED. Noelia and I made Buffalo Chicken Dip, which is like, THE BEST THING EVER. It's basically cream cheese and cheese and Frank's Red Hot sauce and cheese and chicken and CHEESE IN YOUR MOUTH. You can make it too (http://allrecipes.com/recipe/buffalo-chicken-dip/detail.aspx).  Everyone loved it and ate so much of it. Okay, I ate half the bowl. Here is the party:

You can't tell how gorgeous it was because my iPhone is still in the mail and my view is obstructed by my friend Martin's GIANT HEAD.

What's funny about watching the game with hip people (I will NOT call my actual, real friends "hipsters") is that they judge all those big commercials VERY harshly (a lot of people were upset by that "naked M&M" commercial...I pretended to totally agree that it sucked and then laughed hysterically on the inside) and then Madonna's performance became a very big deal (I was sitting with a bunch of musician's for Pete's sake).  We decided (and I agreed) that Madge's new song is utter doodie and I am furious I still have that chant "L.U.V., Madonna!" (disgusting) stuck in my head. I was sort of into the drum line "Open Your Heart," but that song gets me every time and "Like a Prayer," with a choir and Cee-lo in that fabulous cape I wish to purchase is just an undeniable JAM. Also, Nicky Minaj and MIA added nothing, but I LOVE that new MIA song "Bad Girls" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uYs0gJD-LE&ob=av3e). Then my boys won, we hung out for a while eating more pizza and dip, got a little tipsy, and called it a night. Solid Bowl this year, friends.

Oh, HI Sharon

So my music guru slash friend-in-general Noey just got me hooked on this lady-woman singer Sharon Van Etten. Okay, so I 've mentioned before, I am not the HIPPEST kid on the Silverlake-ian block and haven't been like, "soooo totally obsessed with her since her 2009 EP," but SO WHAT, DUDE? I like her NOW. Live in the moment! Lay off me!

Anyway, I'm completely crushing on this sad little elf, especially when she says things like, "To say the things I want to say to you would be a crime, to admit I'm still in love with you, after all this time, I'd rather let you touch my arm until you die, seduce me with your charms until I'm drunk on them go home and drink in bed and never let myself be loved like that again." UM, I AM SORRY SHARON, WHEN DID YOU BREAK INTO MY SKULL AND RIP OUT MY INNER-MOST THOUGHTS?! Okay, let's be honest, when did you overhear me bitching to my ladies at the Crow? Anyway, here are a couple of jams so you can love her too.

1) "One Day" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=7m3Ly2A9mbo&NR=1) This song kind of reminds me of Empire Records. Like the essence of the movie. I don't know.

2) "A Crime" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UHoXqlUqLk) This is the one with those incredibly painful lyrics. You strangers might judge me for saying this...but this song reminds me of Brandi Carlisle circa her "Throw it All Away" days when I was admittedly real into her music. She's good! I am not ashamed.

3) "Serpents" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYgyQ20TJAs) This song is very hot in a sort of 90's, Susanna Hoffs kind of way. Do you know who Susanna Hoffs is? Sigh, I'm OLD.

Sickness is Productive

So Lil Strangers, I have strep throat. I know, I know, I'm DISGUSTING, I know. However, between lying in bed shivering and passing out at 9pm to Dance Moms (that's when you KNOW you're sick, when you cannot focus on Abby Lee Miller), I have been pretty productive. Seriously! Below please find a list of all the things I've gotten done:

1) ORDERED AN IPHONE (it's HAPPENING, Strangers. You're about to see some hella professional pictures).

2) Formatted my pilot script that I am still too shy to show anyone.

3) Cooked eggs with Mayan sweet onions, spinach and white mushroom (never mind that my strep prevented me from actually swallowing said meal).

4) Downloaded the Lana Del Rey album (I KNOW, I KNOW backlash, fake lips, some terrible songs, blah, BLAH, it's a kitsch item and I want to own it and now I DO).

5) Cleaned out my closet (when was I ever into VESTS?).

6) Did on-demand yoga (my body felt SO ACHY from sickness and lack of movement that I forced myself to stretch out).

7) BLOGGED. Thank you and good day.