I Want a Dog...

...Okay, maybe I don't. It's kind of how I think of babies right now; I totally feel my biological clock yearn whenever I see one (my friends can attest, I smile at ALL BABIES), but the idea of it pooping or crying or like, not being able to hold up its own head (alson probably the fact that I call a baby "it" isn't great) makes me think no, maybe I'm not ready yet. So, of course, the next logical thought is DOG.

Here's the thing: I am terrible with animals. Okay, not TERRIBLE, but I am kind of the same way with them that I am with people; I am completely terrified at first and assume the creature will only hurt me both emotionally and physically and then once I get to know them, I love them so hard that the idea of losing them EVER makes me not want to embark upon the relationship at all. What's worse about animals is that they can't speak, so like, you could have a dog that thinks you're really unfunny or a dog that is secretly a serial killer and you would NEVER KNOW.

So all of that said coupled with the fact that I live in a little artist's studio has prevented me from purchasing a dog (or a kid). I get my kicks when I walk around the reservoir and stand outside the dog park, watching other people play with their pets (yeah, Ron Perlman, that was me trying desperately to figure out which dog was yours based on how much they looked like you). But this past Saturday, it was so beautiful out and there were SO MANY good dogs, I almost kept walking right over to the pound. I was too afraid to take a picture of an actual dog, because I was worried someone would think I was a dog thief, or the other dogs would get jealous that I had deemed one dog the cutest, so I just took pictures of my walk:

This is a field where you can do whatever. I've seen people drink, smoke, play Cornhole, play Frisbee, play footsie, do yoga and make out. It's fun.

That is a lady jogging slowly. I was walking, because I didn't want to make her feel bad. Anyway, it was a stunning day out and I ended up road tripping to San Diego to visit my gorgeous and gregarious college roommate Anne. What happened in San Diego stays in San Diego, but I WILL say I had the best time. Thank you, Frost (private, special nickname for Anne)!

HE'S ALIVE!

Thank GOD (and thanks Lindsey for sending this to me), my love has returned to the scene:

http://jackwhiteiii.com/

It's Goddamned JACK WHITE.

Finally Friday

Blah, gross week. This cleanse has stopped working, work is annoying me, and I keep ripping holes into all my tights (I just don't have an incredible gentle touch!). But music never lets me down! here is some of it for your ears:

1) "Revival" by Deerhunter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8b0fDIPP-u4) I always forget how special this band is. I love them. This album, Halcyon Digest, will really blow you away, Strangers. This band has incredible range and they don't waste any notes. This song is jangly but also dark. LIKE ME.

2) "I Only Think of You" by The Horrors (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjTIbuaGozU) Skying was one of the best albums of 2011 and this band is the real deal even though they changed their image from Gothic clowns to Cure-like 80's weirdos. I think the distorted strings in this song are BEAUTIFUL and whoever made this video, I want to kiss them on the mouth part of their face, it's so lovely.

3) "About Today" by The National (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7T2135xCZQ) Yeah, I warned you, I am kind of in a MOOD. This song opened the super-underrated movie Warrior and really set the tone for the entire film with its string-infused nostalgia. Side note: the guy who directed Warrior, Gavin O'Connor, also directed the great sports movie Miracle, or as my friend Elisha and I like to call it, porn. Anyway, this band may be super grumpy, but they know how to create a melody.

4) "Hurt Like Mine" by The Black Keys (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSBMyGDB-6E) So this one is Lindsey's fault. We were just gripin' yesterday about how we miss the EDGE in the Keys' latest stuff. I appreciate that they're trying to change it up, and surf-rock is cool, and they told the NY Times that they didn't even like blues music (this is a crock of shit if I ever heard/read about one), but like guys, you sound better when you ROCK. Thickfreakness is such a raw, honest album and I basically like every song on there. This one has the simplest riff, but it just makes me DANCE in my chair. Yes, I'm sitting in my office.

PS Song) "Backwords" by Porcelain Raft (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1jGTFru4II) Remember how in my previous post I was obsessed with this music? WELL I STILL AM. Do yourself a favor and buy Strange Weekend on iTunes right now, the whole thing is like a dreamy, chimey, melancholy piece of CANDY. That makes sense.

Porcelain Raft ROCKS

Lil Strangers, I can't stop listening to Porcelain Raft! Duh, Noelia turned me onto it, but now I am a fan in my own right! It's just the kind of synth-y, sexy, sleepy shit I dig. I think Raft is just this cute, small Frenchman and his keyboard. I am going to see Raft live soon, so I will let you know. Here's a little intro play list so you can fall in love with this music too!

1) "Put Me To Sleep" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzd2CDKJ5fQ) Similar sound to The Horrors (who I ADORE), this jam had a gently building loop that really gets me into a trance. Which is good when I'm, you know, at work.

2) "Tip Of Your Tongue" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsKRNDaRN94) I actually cannot stop with this one. It contains YEARNING, which you know is my favorite activity. I also love how Lil Frenchie sings "teeeep of your tongue." So Euro!

3) "Come Closer" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePRJXavFt0k) This one is kind of mid-to-late 90's-sounding for me, and duh, that is an era I super-dig. This makes me think of a kind of hip prom (like in Angus with "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star), where I am sitting on my chair alone, sad in a ethereal blue dress, when suddenly the bad boy I crush who was even gonna COME to prom, walks over to me and asks me to dance and we go cheek to cheek and a single tear runs down my face. No, YOU live in a fantasy world!

Salt's Cure Cures All

So I had a delightful weekend. On Thursday, I saw Pina at the Cinerama Dome in Hollywood(GO...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinerama_Dome ...coolest way to watch movies EVER). Pina is Wim Wenders' 3D documentary-tribute to famous dancer/choreographer Pina Beausch and it is SPECTACULAR. It's a totally different way of using 3D and for anyone who is a fan of dance, this is a a completely unique way of experiencing it- you're on the STAGE with the dancers, you can hear them breathing, see their muscles pulsing...it's just rad.

Friday, I had some buds meet me at the Thirsty Crow, and while I will always love that place and go as it is across the street from my apartment and they serve my favorite drink, the venue was less than ideal. They said they were at capacity when the bar didn't seem crowded at all, so I had a bunch of friends in line and some gave up and went home. Then, when I asked the bouncer if I could go talk to my friends in line, he told me they "didn't want traffic walking in and out," so I would basically have to get in line if I left my own party. But our waitress was lovely and I had the whole back area no problem, so if you're having a SMALL gathering (maybe not on a Friday), this place is still the tits.

Saturday, I popped by my friend/neighbor/hero Jason's in the day and did everything in my power to avoid the delicious meats they were grilling up for his brother Rob's birthday, because after hanging with Anna for a while, a bunch of us went to Salt's Cure (http://www.yelp.com/biz/salts-cure-west-hollywood) in West Hollywood for dinner and my world was rocked forever. I totally broke my diet, but then yesterday I was good, so whatever, WORTH IT. Anyway, Salt's Cure is a SMALL place, so we did have to wait like 45 minutes for our table of 7 (and we had a res), BUT, the host brought us a free bottle of wine/round of drinks and was very apologetic (hey, sometimes people take a long time to eat their food). We also got a pickle plate with the most scrumptious, lightly brined pickle slices, soft/warm pretzel bread and homemade mustard. Then we sat down and the real eating began. We got a cheese plate with three distinctive cheeses (an insanely tasty and salty hard cheese, a semi-soft and semi-stinky little number, and the best cheese I've ever had in my life, which was a blue, sort of in the vein of a Humboldt Fog) and some pistachios and jams.

The way it works at this place is that they always have the same appetizers, but the main menu consists of about ten items that change daily based on what's fresh and then are posted on a big chalkboard at the back of the room. Emily got this beautiful farmer's salad with soft cheese and the freshest (but ripe) avocado I've ever tasted. PRETTY:

I know, I know, IT'S DARK I NEED AN IPHONE. Then I ordered this raw beef sprinkled with arugula and parmesan (I THINK), which was basically a really delicate carpaccio:

Mmmm. Anna and Lindsey got amazing looking bacon cheeseburgers and Brett and Noelia got pretty-pink flank steaks; Noey's with a side of baby broccoli and Brett's came with FRIES (the fries come with mayo, which I adore, but they also make their own ketchup, if you want to order that...OF COURSE THEY DO). Kyle got a moist-looking (ew, moist) crabcake and a side of squash with a creamy hunk of maple butter on it. Emily got beautiful, HUGE grilled oysters and a side of the buttery-est mashed potatoes you've ever seen. I got a chili pork shoulder and then died and went to Heaven. Behold:

Obviously this pic doesn't do this entree justice. It was a giant, fatty, pillow-tender hunk of shoulder, marinating in a soup of its own juices with white beans and kale and I actually wanted to wash my hair in the bowl it smelled/tasted so wonderful. Also, the wine selection isn't super extensive, but after sort of a metallic red blend, Kyle ordered a DELICIOUS cab that helped send me into the food coma that followed this meal. We got this smooth, cold chocolate pudding:

How cute are those baby mason jars? They also brought me a slice of grapefruit pie with a candle in it, which we were all resistant to order but then DEVOURED as it is really a spin on a key-lime pie, except with grapefruit and therefore, fabulous. It was perfect.
Yesterday, it was a rare gray day, and I took a good, long solo-walk around the RES and kind of felt old and wistful, but in a weirdly good way. Then I went to my friends Julia and Jack's place (perfect Venice house, PERFECT funny/smart couple) to watch my Giants MAKE IT TO THE SUPERBOWL BABY!!! Jack won't let me post the photo of him getting "excited" (sounds way scarier than it was) about an intense moment of the game, so here is the TV:

Great TV, Jack and Julia! Then I went and saw Haywire with Kalen and I can't even talk about it because I love Soderbergh and this was...not good. But thanks for the memories, everyone!

It's My Birthday And I'll Scat If I Want To...

Yeah, I'm old. To fight depression on this scary day and to avoid going to the kitchen at work and eating like, 7 doughnuts, I am going to jam out to these songs all day. Don't judge me, just dance with me:

1) "Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop)" by Scatman John (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cnQCk0u49w&ob=av2e) Just be honest with your life and enjoy this song. It is SO FUN.

2) "Tonight I'm Fucking You" by Enrique Iglesias (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDtYkOrV4-E) So this song is very honest and direct. I really appreciate how CLEAR Enrique's lyrics are. Okay, so this song is a little scary, but it's fun to dance to! I just want to dance! Just let me dance!

3) "International Love" by Pitbull (featuring that DICK Chris Brown) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdXesX6mYUE&ob=av3e) So I won't support Chris Brown anymore and buy this song, but I do love Pitbull and this is a jam. Like, it has a good message, you know? If I had one birthday wish, it would be for international love. Okay, it would be for a boyfriend, but that's the same, right?

A Meme

So, I don't even know what "meme" MEANS really, but I am pretty sure I am about to post a meme for you. This particular meme is totally played out, what with "Shit Girls Say (parts 1 & 2)," "Shit Bartenders Say," and "Shit Your Painful Crush Says" (the last one doesn't exist but honey, I could make 7 parts, EASY) all over the interwebs.

However, as someone who hails from NYC, this one in particular made me chuckle. Co-worker Rob sent it to me by prefacing with "UGH, this is so YOU." I'd like to think he was paying me a beautiful compliment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRvJylbSg7o

I Can't...

I just can't, lil strangers. The TWEE. The twee is KILLING me.

Stranger in DC

Hi Lil Strangers (I like "Lil," I'm going with it)! So I just got back from our nation's capitol and I have to say, it's a lot cooler and stranger than I thought. I mean my grandpa lives there, I've been there dozens of times, but only in recent years have I discovered all the funky restaurants/bars/STUFF the city has to offer. Last time I was there I went to the Lincoln Memorial at 3AM...it was PRETTY.

Anyway I got there Saturday EARLY on the red-eye (strangers, if you're going to do this GROSS flight, take Virgin America. It was SUPER nice) and cabbed it to Elisha's apartment, which is kind of near DuPont Circle (LOVELY area). Okay so, Elisha is kind of a baller. Like, she is a lawyer and lives in a SWEET apartment. Anyway, I passed out in her glorious bed for 4 hours. Then we met up with my parents, bro, aunt, grandpa, and my friend Lucy and her husband Ted (glorious, loving, exuberant couple) at my grandpa's "club" nearby. Apparently, in DC, some fancy older people are members of these clubs. My grandpa's club, the Cosmos, only accepts members that have had some sort of huge achievement. Yup, Grandpa is THE MAN. Anyway, we had a grand old time and then I went back to Elisha's with Lucy where college roomie and all-around lovely lady Katie "Rock" Rockman surprised me by flying in from Boston. YAY. We immediately went to Starbucks, Sex and the City-style:

Yeah, I know: they are stunning slash my phone-camera is terrible. Also, this place is HEAVEN:

Anyway, then I had dinner with my fam at this place Corduroy (http://www.corduroydc.com/ ) and I ate that tuna that's on the website pic. It was very good, solid food and kind of Scandinavia meet Japan-feeling in terms of decor. Also, when I was in the bathroom, this dude walked in and relieved himself. I hid in the stall thinking I had mistakenly strolled into the men's room, but then when the guy opened the door to leave, I heard him go "oh, shit." It was funny.

So also, confession: I've been on this weird cleanse. It's not a diet, per se, but it's kind of like this 4-week restrictive diet to rejuvenate my digestive system. Here it is: http://www.harpersbazaar.com/beauty/health-wellness-articles/eat-and-lose-weight-1211#slide-1 (note: I am NOT taking those expensive supplements). Anyway, even though food is my LOVER, this thing has been pretty easy to stay on, but Saturday night, after 2 weeks of pure goodness, I drank BOOZE and...it was not a good scene. That's all I'm going to say about that. Oh, except that we went to this really fun bar Church Key (http://churchkeydc.com/ ) and met up with some friends.

Sunday, my fam did brunch at the house of one of my dad's besties from high school Kem. I can't even talk about this family they are so BAD-ASS, but I will mention one of their daughters does human rights work in THE CONGO, Kem's MOTHER just got back from volunteer teaching in Namibia, and Kem and her husband John are going to Haiti in two weeks to help out. Oh also, they are totally humble and mellow and don't brag about this over the incredible poached eggs Kem made at ALL. They also have this GOOD dog:

That's how I like my dogs: adorable and ASLEEP.

Then I met the girls in Georgetown for some shopping and a little hang with my friend Perrin (beautiful, mellow, genius-lady). Later, we had dinner at Zaytinya (http://zaytinya.com/), Jose Andres' DELICIOUS Mediterranean restaurant, with my buds Nate (such a great fellow; we go way back to high school) and Caroline (another baller lawyer. I love a smart lady) and Lucy husband Ted. I did a five course tasting menu that included the BEST Brussels sprouts I've ever had (they had been BATHED in olive oil, then roasted, then grilled I think), hunks of spiced lamb with sweet grilled onion, the creamiest of hummuses (hummii?) and tender, delicately sauced chicken (caloric and yet in line with my cleanse!). Mmmm. Then we went back to Elisha's and made fun of Golden Globes fashions.

Yesterday, I took a lovely stroll with Elisha to meet Perrin for brunch. We walked by the White House! On MLK Day! I felt like such a patriot. See?

I know, my hat is dope. Then I took a picture of Elisha, for no reason:

Awww. Then we saw a cool statue!

I think it's Polish; I have no idea. Then we walked by Occupy DC:

Can you see the tents? Supposedly no one really sleeps there because it is so cold. I'd like to think some folks stick it out, though. We had brunch at Founding Farmers (http://www.wearefoundingfarmers.com/washington-dc/ff_menus/menu-lunchdinner/ ). So, it was hard to avoid ordering like, white cheddar mac n' cheese, but I was sensible and got eggs over-easy, two pieces of excellently cooked bacon, fruit, and a side of Brussels sprouts (not AS incredible as the ones I had the night before, but still satisfying). Elisha got a 17 vegetable salad and Perrin got a fantastic, juicy-looking burger. Then I did a little shopping with Lucy and met my grandpa for tea and a bite of a giant, tasty, chocolate-chip cookie (sin!) at Firehook Bakery (http://www.firehook.com/e-com/index.cfm ...yeah, YOU try avoiding the goods there). Then Luce took me to the airport and I was back in LA. DC, I miss you! You were so fun!

Yup, They've Still Got It...

M83 was wonderful, duh. Club Nokia is OKAY, kind of like a large Echoplex in that giant LA Live downtown-weird-mall-movie set space. It's the biggest venue the band has played yet, and precious little Anthony Gonzalez apologized for not-the-greatest first couple of songs because they were so overwhelmed to be in such a big venue. But after that shaky start (honestly, I couldn't tell, they are so damn good and their light show is mesmerizing), they basically just brought the house down. I think everyone's hearts collectively exploded when "Skin of the Night" came on during the encore. Here is the song so you get an idea of the awesomeness that occurred (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4Pg-2LP76g). Now picture being immersed in this:

I KNOW. Anyway, off to Washington DC tonight to see my family and some lovely friends. Happy Friday!

M83 AGAIN!!!

Mere months after M83 knocked my socks of at the Music Box, I am getting to see them in concert AGAIN at Club Nokia (http://www.clubnokia.com/...haven't ...haven't been yet; could be really corporate and scary and also WHO IS DAVID GARRETT?! He looks amazing on this website). I'm nervous the band will be all big time and worn out and sad now, but WHATEVER I LOVE THEM I AM GOING. I will let you know how it is.

Here is "Klaus I Love You" to make you jealous of me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5cdP63M3z8

Pulled Towards The Magnetic Fields

Today Noey sent me the new single from The Magnetic Fields. It's called "Andrew in Drag." Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjOJjP2pXdo

If that's not the cutest Goddamn thing you ever heard, I just don't know what it is. Stephin Merritt's lyrics have always blown me away in the way that they're so simple and literal, yet convey everything I am thinking. Like, I play "I Don't Want to Get Over You" a lot, because I am indignant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVEhNHIzJec

And I've put "I Wish I Had An Evil Twin" on a play list before because it's such a fun fantasy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UO6R276hBeM

Finally, I am pretty sure I wrote "You Must Be Out Of Your Mind" and Merritt stole the lyrics out of my brain anti-Inception style:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77gy-2UUA-c

Anyway, so happy about the new album. Thanks Fields!

Almost Forgot...

My friend Jon Ames (sexy glasses-wearer, spiritual guru who is capable of month-long silent retreats, fashion-plate) suggested I call you guys, my readers, all 21 of you, SOMETHING. Like, "the strangers,"...or something better than that. Then my friend Christopher Pappas (talented musician that goes by Miracle Parade (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdqgE_5CEUw), political philosopher, fan of hats) hilariously suggested that you could be "little monsters" to my Lady Gaga. Can I do this? Does not-even-two-dozen readers mean I get to call people something? Does it matter? I don't know, but my friends are adorable. Also, I will let you know how this cleanse goes, but I don't see myself wearing a thong and pasties as my dinner outfit anytime soon.

Portlandia Tuesday

Guys, I've been watching a LOT of Portlandia (Fridays at 10pm/9central) and guess what? Portland is like a whole city of Silverlake. The show is so great because it sort of tenderly mocks all those hipstery, DIY things that people in Portland and Silverlake (and Brooklyn, and Los Feliz, and the Mission, and that cool part of DC I don't know the name of...Clarence Heights?) do/have and sometimes take really seriously. Like composting. And community sports leagues. And "trendy" hotels. And biking. Okay you get it, but the show is hilarious and incorporates a lot of music-related stuff (in one episode, Aimee Mann plays herself and she is working as a maid for Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein and they force her to put on a private concert for them). So I've been getting back to the time period (again) where I fell in love with all things tuneful (the grunge era) and these songs are kind of an homage to that because Portland, flannel, long-haired men, blah, blah, just read:

1) "Black" by Pearl Jam (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs-XZ_dN4Hc) Oh GAWD, you guys, this song makes me cry just about every time I hear it (YES, I am a weepy lady that wears her heart dangling from her sleeve and has been known to cry when telling people about Visa commercials that have made her cry in the past. SO?). This semi-ballad is like RAW-CITY. The beautiful Eddie Vedder is just so sad about this obviously INSANE woman leaving him and his lyrics build to such an EPIC place, I just can't hold it together. The weird thing is that upon hearing this song, I could not WAIT to feel that way. If you haven't seen Cameron Crowe's thorough documentary on Pearl Jam, Pearl Jam Twenty, I highly recommend. There is a scene where Eddie Vedder basically writes all of "Daughter" while riding on a bus between gigs that I can't even type any more about, it's so cool.

2) "Epic" by Faith No More (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERTT_sv8sV0&feature=related) So ALLEGEDLY, this song came out in 1989, but it's so GRUNGE in this sort of hip-hop meets rock meets baggy shorts and plaid kind of way and COME ON GUYS, it's EPIC.

3) "Where is My Mind?" by The Pixies (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrHl0wpagFc) Okay, grunge is so much older than I thought. The Pixies were prolific for a lot of bands coming up in the 90's and this song in particular gets a lot of play in music, music documentaries, and on playlists by girls who have a deep appreciation for anything melodic, but who are a little mainstream when it comes down to it. Wink wink, THAT'S ME.

4) "Touch Me I'm Sick" by Mudhoney (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nGsT_qFMBs&ob=av2n) As a total hypochondriac, this song is my worst nightmare, but I remember thinking I was SO COOL for listening to it in middle school in my Airwalks, JNCO jeans, baby-T, and DOG COLLAR (I also used Sun-In in my naturally BLACK hair and it turned completely orange. I was so, so beautiful). Also, this band apparently coined the term "grunge." But I think they were just trying to emphasize how little they showered.

5) "Seether" bu Veruca Salt (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC9AUR-iTo0&ob=av2e) Okay, I hate this song. I really wanted to incorporate some ladies into this list. I KNOW I listened to some back in the day, but I am blanking right now. Veruca was popular in the early 90's, but I was always annoyed that they considered themselves "chicks who rocked" and then had these gentle lullaby voices and the guitar was muted like they were shy about potentially fucking up, which is the whole point of rock music in the first place. Honestly, HONESTLY, I want to go back to Hole and give Courtney Love some credit for really howling (I know there are SO MANY other women from the grunge era, Melissa Auf der Maur included, but I am REALLY HAVING TROUBLE WITH MY BRAIN TODAY). Anyway here is "Violet" by Hole and it's good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH_rfGBwamc&ob=av2n

A Sexy Collaboration!!!

OMGEE guys, LOOK:

http://pitchfork.com/news/45000-jack-whites-next-collab-tom-jones/

Yeah, I know, Pitchfork is annoying, but TOM JONES AND JACK WHITE TOGETHER! It's like an explosion of erotica for my ears! I hope they make a video together and they both wear leather pants and like, ruffly pirate tops in it and do the thing where they share one mic and stand very close. Okay, I will stop, but before I go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBdSqk78nHw

AND

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCFXeChXfcI

Yup.

Thanks Again Noey...

Yesterday Noey IM'ed me all like, "I found your new favorite song!" and I am like, "Okay lady, I'm not so sure..." and then she sent me "You Wouldn't Know Me" by Shake Russell:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Nq3FCgpwaY

Please ignore the scary video; I don't know who made that. Anyway, Noelia was right. I cannot resist a twangy banjo, a wistful lyric, or a weird chip. The chip thing is mostly because I am on a cleanse, obsessing about all foods all day long.

2012 Apocalypse NOW

Happy New Year guys!

I've totally missed blogging, honest to blog (EW, LEAST FAVORITE QUOTE FROM A MOVIE EVER. Juno, you are STUPID). I am back from ten days in the magical state of NY, 7 of which I spent in the city, 3 of which I spent scared of every noise and creature at my parents' cabin upstate, and 2 of which I spent deathly ill. But I am HERE now, on the following cleanse, so I am a LITTLE sleepy:

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/beauty/health-wellness-articles/eat-and-lose-weight-1211#slide-1

I know, I am so GOOP now, right? It will only take me 300 years of this diet to look like Gwyneth Paltrow! But you guys, seriously, I damaged my body/liver/hair. It all started with a final pub crawl through downtown Los Angeles:

Awww, look at Kyle and Noey on the street of dreams and twinkly lights! We went to Bar 107 (http://www.yelp.com/biz/bar-107-los-angeles ...it's no joke; I was FRISKED outside by the bouncer, but then they play early-90's jams and you can dance) and then La Cita (http://site.lacitabar.com/ ...more dancing, outdoor patio, last-call punk-rock danceparty).

Then I returned to NYC, went to Hotel Chantelle with some ladies (http://hotelchantelle.com/wp-content/themes/IndexInt-Blank%20Theme/ie.htmlsuper-fun ...not a hotel but a multi-level bar with good drinks where some naked lady was hanging out on the lobby floor, if that's your scene) then a super-fun party for one of my LA best friends Daniel (of Mongolian BBQ fame) at the Delancey (http://thedelancey.com/ ...huge! Upstairs is so hot it feels tropical!). The next morning, I jetted (okay, Amtraked) to the country to spend X'mas with the fam (we are not religious and my mother is of Jewish descent, but we do a tree, eggnog, Christmas music, the whole shebang). Here is my dad dealing with the duck on Christmas Eve:

Doesn't he look precious? We all had hats. That half-face in the pic is my mom. She made the duck; look:

Maybe that looks weird to you, but it was insanely delicious and she served it with Brussels sprouts. She also made a "Yule log," which is like, chocolate cake soaked in booze. Amazing.

Then back in NYC, I tried some FAB places with friends and fam. Among them, Rubirosa (http://rubirosanyc.com/ ...sat at the bar and got the vodka pizza and it knocked my socks off), The Dutch (http://thedutchnyc.com/ ...super trendy and hard to get a res, so thanks Emily for giving me yours. Get the steak tartare, the Brussels sprouts with horseradish cream, and smoked chicken) and the Brooklyn Star (http://thebrooklynstar.com/ ...oyster tacos, shrimp and grits, CORNBREAD IN A PAN WITH CLARIFIED BUTTER THE END). So you get it; I ate well.

Also, something else about Brooklyn...I am OBSESSED. It is like Silverlake with worse weather, but with more adorable apartments/stores/bars/restaurants/big men with beards. I went to these great bars: the Commodore (http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-commodore-brooklyn ...great space, sexy people, they also serve tasty looking comfort food like fried chicken and biscuits), Spuyten Duyvil (http://spuytenduyvilnyc.com/ ...thank you, waitress at Brooklyn Star, for recommending this adorable wine and beer bar for an after dinner treat), and Daddy's (http://www.yelp.com/biz/daddys-brooklyn ...great, chill neighborhood spot). Everything there is wonderful. I am going to live there, Even if I am 105 when I do.

Then I rang in the New Year with loved ones at my parents' house in NYC. It was PERFECT:

Awww, my girls! Anyway, I have like, 702 resolutions, so I better stop typing and get started. Bye!